As I’m sure every person in the civilized world is aware of at this point, there’s a new Star Wars movie coming out in a few days. In preparation, I’ve decided to re-watch the previous six Star Wars movies, one a night, leading up to the release.

There was a bit of disagreement amongst the roommates on what order to view them in. We decided on numerical order, because at least that way it gets better rather than worse.

So we began with Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I have mixed emotions over this movie. As a kid, I was a fan of Star Wars, but not to the extent that I realized it was a big deal that there were new movies. Star Wars was awesome to me, but so was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers and Power Rangers, and it was about on the level of those things to me. So I had no special knowledge or nostalgia for Star Wars when I watched the prequels the first time around.

I had Episode I on VHS and watched it dozens of times, but not because I had a particular love for it, just because it was the only Star Wars movie I owned. This was my first time sitting down and watching Phantom Menace as an adult with an appreciation of Star Wars, and I was surprised by how much new stuff I noticed.

So without further ado, here are 27 thoughts on Star Wars Episode I:

  1. I’ve heard hardcore Star Wars fans joke about this movie being about taxation, but I never really knew what they were referring to. Reading the opening crawl now as an adult, I finally fully grasped what it was that the Trade Federation was doing. As a kid I just knew they were the bad guys because… well, because they were shooting at Jedi, I guess.episode i 1.png
  2. The big red ship–which the internet tells me is the Radiant VII Consular-class cruiser–at the beginning is the most Star Wars-looking ship in the entire prequel trilogy and it gets blown up immediately. Unintentional symbolism?
  3. Likewise, Nute Gunray and the Neimoidians of the Trade Federation are some of the best alien designs in the prequels. They’re also not CGI. Coincidence? You decide!
  4. This movie does a good job of establishing the place of Jedi in this era very quickly. Qui Gon and Obi Wan in the opening scene show us what properly trained Jedi in their prime look like, providing a nice contrast to Luke in the original movies.
  5. After doing a bit of research, it looks like it was already known to fans going in that The Emperor’s name is Palpatine, but even so it seems like they give him away far too early. He’s the big bad behind all six movies, he should have more mystery surrounding him.
  6. Regardless of what side of the practical vs. digital effects debate you land on, it’s hard to deny that the digital effects didn’t age well at all. When we’re introduced to Jar Jar it is painfully obvious that Liam Neeson is talking at nothing.
  7. Why do Battle Droids say “uh?” Who programmed that?
  8. Why does Jar Jar say “pollos?” How did he learn Spanish?
  9. The scene we’re introduced to C-3PO in made me appreciate him and R2 more, because this was the first time I’d realized that Luke effectively gets one droid from his mom and one from his dad. episode i 2
  10. Similarly to Palpatine, Darth Maul is given away for the first time in a hologram. What an underwhelming reveal for someone who should be terrifying the first time we meet him.
  11. Why is Jar Jar not dying on Tatooine? He’s amphibious, he should be shriveling up.
  12. The age difference in Padme and Anakin’s relationship is so, so uncomfortable. Did George Lucas want to out-gross himself after incestuous near-miss of the originals?
  13. Anakin’s gigantic pre-pubescent ego has “dark side” written all over it. Qui Gon needed to wake up.
  14. Speaking of Qui Gon’s terrible decisions, was child endangerment really the only way to get the money he needed?
  15. If you look behind Obi Wan in one of the scenes when he’s talking to Qui Gon from the ship, there are a couple of Naboo soldiers behind him that appear to loading a bowl into a space-bong.
  16. “There was no father…I can’t explain it.” What does this mean, Momma Skywalker? Anakin was immaculately conceived? We’re just moving past that? Is Watto his dad? episode i 3
  17. Is every child on Tatooine an awful brat?
  18. The two-headed pod race announcer would be so awesome if it was puppetry. What a missed opportunity.
  19. I love the designs of the pod racers. Some of the coolest vehicles in the series.
  20. It’s really unsatisfying that Sebulba is the only racer that seems to avoid dying, even though he killed most of them. No justice.
  21. Why is Qui Gon so afraid of Watto that he won’t free Momma Skywalker from slavery? He’s got some messed up priorities.
  22. The reveal of the Jedi Council isn’t given the attention it should have been. This is where the focus should be in the movie: on the mythology of the Jedi and on Anakin’s training. Huge missed opportunity.
  23. Why does the Trade Federation have senators at all? This “Republic” seems doomed already.episode i 4.png
  24. The sunset on Coruscant is the worst CG in the movie.
  25. Why do the things that Gungans ride into battle look so much like Gungans? Something really disturbing happened in their evolution at some point.
  26. Droid transports are another awesome piece of design work. Makes for a great entrance for the army, with lots of gravitas.
  27. One of the Naboo pilots that dies in the final battle looks a lot like Jek Porkins. What does Lucas have against chubby pilots?
Overall, I don’t hate this movie as much as a lot of Star Wars fans do. It’s not great, but it is entertaining, and Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor are both interesting enough in their roles that they carry the movie in spite of Anakin and Jar Jar. There is some great design work and music in it, it features what I would argue is the best lightsaber battle in the series, and I actually found myself appreciating the way it echoes beats from the originals more than I had noticed previously. Definitely not my favorite Star Wars movie, but I don’t find myself needing to ignore that it exists like some fans.
Except midichlorians. Fuck midichlorians.